Can we Change our Perspective?

Can we change the way we look at things? Does it really make that big a difference? How come you can feel really low and then a good song comes on the radio and by the end of it you feel all uplifted with a spring in your step? Does what we say to ourselves really affect us that much?

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.” Henry Ford

It can be hard to keep a sense of perspective in our lives. We are constantly bombarded with seemingly urgent things, like phone calls, texts, instant messages, emails, tweets etc. It can feel that we live each day in a constant rush against time with an endless list of things to do. We tend to focus on the negative, what we have to do, what we haven’t achieved, rather than focusing on the good in our life. Changing your perspective can be incredibly refreshing, it can help you see the good in life and calmly tackle any challenges that come your way.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

It sounds almost too easy to be true but if we work with The power of The mind we really can change how we think and consequently how we feel. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn the tools to let go of the past or those niggling thoughts and enjoy life. Here are a few simple ways to change your perspective; give one a try today and see how you can feel calmer and more positive.

• Open your eyes and see the world around you. It can be all too easy to focus inwards, and whilst it is good to look at yourself it is also important to notice the world around you.
• Ask “Will it matter in five years?” Almost always the answer is that it won’t matter in a week let alone five years. Some moments are life changing but most of what we worry about, with hindsight or clear thinking, is really not worth any stress.
• Write down how you are feeling. By putting pen to paper you help to clear your mind of all your thoughts and you can start seeing the situation more clearly, understanding where you need to focus your energy in order to change it.
• Stop and take stock. It is good to strive for goals but it is also just as important to stop and breathe, to enjoy what you have created. When you go home tonight, look around you and smile, say thank you for what you do have in your life.
• Go for a walk / break state. When you are feeling like everything is getting on top of you or your mind is wearing away, try going for a walk, break the state, change what you are doing. Walking helps you to de-stress and gives you a chance to clear your head and gain a clearer perspective.
• Be in the moment. Whatever it is you are doing, whether it is housework or sending an email or even walking in the park, be in the moment. Enjoy that moment for what it is. Absorb the world you are in, look around and take it all in for this moment.
• Ask “why” and keep asking. Next time you are struggling to get a perspective on something ask why you are doing it. Challenge your inner self for the answer. It may be that you are pushing for something that you don’t really want.
• Have “downtime”. Think about how much time you really give yourself in a day to de-stress. Even if you find just ten minutes in the day give these to yourself to sit and breathe, maybe go for a walk whilst being in the moment, or read a book. Allow yourself this down time.

These are just a few simple suggestions, there are so many more ways that you can change your perspective and how you feel about the life you are living. Even though nothing has changed in your life, if you change your perspective then it can feel like you are living a new happy life.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.        

© EKTherapies

Live Life!

The Guardian published a fascinating article in February about the top five regrets of the dying, written from the findings from a palliative nurse. I found it an interesting read, thought-provoking and well worth sharing.

“ Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed, deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. How many times have you thought: “I wish someone had told me that before?" So often people do advise or warn us but we carry on regardless. It is important that we learn from our own mistakes but we can also learn from the wisdom of others – if so many people realise retrospectively that they should have changed their perspective on what is important in life, maybe we should listen more. "

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to change your perspective on life and see where you need to focus your energy. It can help you to realise your goals, release any anxiety, fears or old expectations, allowing you to be the person you want to be. This gives you time to focus on the wonderful life you have created, with all its wonderful twists and turns.

 By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Could Laughter be the Key to Happiness?

Laughter is infectious; we all know the amazing feeling of losing yourself in the energy of laughter. But could laughter be the key to happiness? People have started to harness this and create laughter workshops, where you go to laugh, even if it starts out as a forced laugh, the endorphins and benefits still affect your body and mood.

Research has shown the health benefits of laughter are far-reaching, studies have shown that laughter can help pain relief through the releasing of endorphins, increase the immune system, decrease stress, change the “negative” chemicals in the mind, ease conflict, lighten burdens, inspire hope, connect you to others and generally just make you feel better, more energetic and happier, bringing your body and mind back into balance.

“Your sense of humour is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

This may all seem a bit far-fetched, can laughing really help you to feel better ? We know the benefits of exercise and how that helps us to reduce stress hormones. It helps our bodies to feel more energetic, it clears our minds and allows us to have clear focus again. So can laughter do the same thing? If we build laughter into our day just as we do with exercise we can increase our happiness. Laughter is an incredibly strong medicine for mind and body – it is free, convenient and beneficial in so many ways.

So how do you get more laughter in your life?

We can find laughter in so many ways, maybe for you it is laughing at films or the TV, laughing with friends, comedy clubs, funny clips on line, joining a laughter workshop, the list is endless. Or if all else fails you could just fake it. Just smile and start to laugh – as with listening to a song and how it change your mood, so can laughter. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can also help. This combination can help you to look at the world with a different perspective, to see the funny side in life. It is too easy to allow life to feel like a weight on our shoulders, but you can learn the tools to see life in a different way. To allow yourself the freedom to let go and just laugh and enjoy the world for what it is.

Try it now - smile, laugh or giggle and feel better about your day.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Inspiring – Walking with the Wounded

I have often asked myself: what is the difference between someone who takes life on and someone who accepts their fate?

My wonderful Grandmother was a survivor of Auschwitz ( German Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp 1940–1945, her story is told in her book, From Thessaloniki to Auschwitz and Back ). Her whole family managed to survive. She was on the first train out of Thessaloniki Greece and could speak both German and Greek. The family ended up being translators for the Germans and through a combination of a lot of luck and strength of mind, she and her immediate family (father, mother and brother) all survived. Unfortunately not all of her extended family and friends had the same fate. She only passed away last December and managed to lead the most fantastic life; full of love and laughter. Undoubtedly Auschwitz left her with her demons, haunting her throughout her life, but nevertheless she was the most positive person I have ever met. She had an amazing strength inside of her, understanding anyone’s problems and helping them to find their own inner strength to succeed, whilst still having the courage to challenge situations that she felt weren’t right. She also had an amazing ability to forgive, even hosting the German ambassador for dinner in her later years. What was always clear to me though, was that she survived and succeeded because of how mentally strong she was.

And in life today there are countless examples of mental strength. Lord Alan Sugar for one; starting life in a council house and without a lot prospects, he is now a household name, having become a multi-millionaire along the way and at the age of 64, shows no signs of stopping. I look at the amazing troops to come out of war having suffered life-changing injuries both physically and psychologically, now taking on incredible challenges like Walking with the Wounded and I find myself asking again “what makes them stronger, more focused than others?"

We all know the people who seem to always find misery, they seem to never be happy despite the amazing house, car, husband, job, children etc. What makes them so different? Could it all be perspective?

How is it that some people give up and accept that they will never walk again whilst others fight until they can walk, defying the laws of medicine? Like Sergeant Steve Young from the programme, Walking with the Wounded on BBC , he was told he would never walk again after having suffered a broken back whilst serving in Afghanistan. He defied the medics and four months after his injury was walking again. Sergeant Young then undertook the challenge of a lifetime; along with his teammates they became the first team of unsupported war-wounded amputees to reach the Geographical North Pole, in only 13 days they managed to combat the most torturous conditions.

I watched the 1st episode of the programme in awe and felt humbled to see these men taking on a challenge that most able-bodied people would find near impossible. Although they all had times where they battled with their inner-demons, having to come to terms with their injuries and adapting to their new life, they all managed to remain upbeat and focused, remaining a team, helping each other along the way.

I have been very blessed with my life, I have had my fair share of challenges which I hope has made me a better therapist but I have always found the inner strength to overcome what life has challenged me with.

The more I work with people and the more I learn, the more amazed I am by the power of the mind. We live in a world of technology, a world where we are becoming less and less aware of the little things in life, of our body’s natural rhythm. We take for granted so much of what we have, only stopping to look at something when we no longer have it. We strive for goals, reach them and then strive for the next one. Rarely stopping to enjoy the wonderful life we have created.

When I look at people like my Grandmother, Lord Sugar and the soldiers, the only answer I can come up with is that they have mastered the biggest tool we all have available to us. They have managed to work with their minds in a positive way. If we understand what drives us, if we work with our minds and bodies rather than against them, we can achieve amazing things, things we never thought possible. The mind is the most powerful tool you can ever have, more powerful than any computer. It has the ability to make you believe you can achieve anything.

Look how powerful it can be if we start on a negative spiral for example. We can imagine things so vividly even though the chance of them happening are less than 00.1%, but we still feel the physical and physiological responses as if it had already happened. Or there are the psycho-somatic cases when you tell your brain you are ill and it starts to give you the symptoms as if you really were.

Of course although our bodies are amazing machines, there are times when you must accept that your amazing machine is not going to recover to the extent that you want it to. You may never be the person you were before, but a fantastic thing to learn is that if you work positively with your own mind, you can see that the person you are now is as brilliant and in some ways better than the person you were before. If we all worked in a positive way the world would be an even more inspiring place - all that aggression that people have could be funneled properly to achieve something good.

I am not meaning to sound too idealistic; we all have our down days, but the trick is to make those fewer and more far between.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are amazing tools in helping you understand what drives you, helping you to become a more positive person. So many of my clients turn their lives around even though nothing has physically changed; they still have the same car, job, house etc, but simply their perspective has changed. Rather than allowing themselves to focus on the few tiny things in life that aren’t quite right they start to focus on all the things that are right, giving them the strength to challenge themselves and take on tasks they never thought possible.

To find out more about Walking with the Wounded and the amazing work they do please take a look at their website http://www.walkingwiththewounded.org.uk/

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.