Negative self-talk: how it affects us

What is self-talk? Self-talk is the internal dialog we all have ongoing through our minds every day. This internal dialog can take two forms, positive and negative.

Are you a positive thinker or a negative thinker? Do you tell yourself: Yes I can do this. I can reach my goal. Or do you tell yourself: I will never get that job so there is no point going for the interview. I am fat. I am stupid.

We all have moments of self-doubt where we question whether we can achieve something, but the difference between a constant negative thought pattern and a positive one is the difference between a person who never feels good enough and a person who feels content with life, happily challenged.

We all know those people who seem to have it all. They are always so happy. But when you stop and look at their life next to yours they have nothing more than you - sometimes they even have less than you. The difference is their internal dialog is set to positive; they look for the positive and they appreciate the things they have got.

Negative self-talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to stagnation, self-pity, depression and many more negative influences. When we repeat a negative statement over and over again we begin to believe it. “I am not good enough” may prevent us from taking the steps to achieve a promotion that we are easily qualified for. It gives us a lack of confidence that isn’t based on anything real, but reinforced by the internal negative dialog. Eventually these thoughts become all consuming and you find that you approach every aspect of your life with this negativity, beginning to feel stressed easily, depressed and having a lack of confidence and motivation.

Changing the internal dialog to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. If instead of saying “I am not good enough”, say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity no one can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own though process.

Very often the nature of our self-talk originates from a very early age. It may be a teacher that said you weren’t good enough, or a parent that always made you believe anything is possible.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to challenge the source of the negative thoughts and change them to positive ones. Eventually you will surround yourself with positive thoughts and that will create an environment that will allow you to live your best possible life.

Here a few easy steps to start to become positive:

· Smile more.

· Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first. Start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head and turn it into a positive one. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking in the positive first.

· Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.

· Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.

We all have the ability to retrain our minds, we do it every day. Give it a go. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What could you gain? Everything.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   
 

© EKTherapies

Gut Instinct/Intuition and Your Comfort Zone

What is intuition? It is "knowing" something without being able to explain how you came to that conclusion rationally. It's that mysterious "gut feeling" or "instinct" that often turns out to be right, in retrospect. It is that feeling you get like an inner guide telling you which is the right decision for you. You can ignore your inner intuition, your gut feeling, only to later say "I knew I should have done that."

Your subconscious mind “archives” lots of different information that you might not remember on a conscious level. Often you pick up on things subconsciously without even realising, such as someone’s body language or an advert you walk by. Your subconscious registers it as a certain“feeling” that you can’t articulate at that moment but could very well be valid.

Without this intuition, we are no different to a computer. We would only make decisions based on facts, but we don’t always have all the facts. Even some of the world’s great scientists, the most logical thinkers of all time, have made their greatest discoveries based on a flashes of intuition.

Our inner intuition is an extremely powerful tool for us to listen to, but how do you know if your feeling is your inner intuition or nerves as you push yourself out of your comfort zone?

Stepping out of your comfort zone can often feel the same as your gut saying no. Even though it is the right step to take it can feel like your gut is saying no. This is where we need to work with our logical mind and understand if it is our gut speaking or just nervousness as we push the boundaries of our comfort zone.

You can learn to work with your intuition. Here are a few simple ways that you can start to grow your natural ability to judge how you are feeling.

Ask yourself a question and listen to the first answer that pops into your mind. This can be easier said than done as we tend to have several thoughts flooding into our mind at once. There are often lots of different things trying to get your attention. So ask the question and see what is the first thing that comes back - focus on that.

Listen to your gut. There's a reason it's called a "gut feeling": Many times, a decision that you "know" is wrong makes you feel discomfort in your stomach area.

Meditation– Mindfulness. Clearing your mind of thoughts and worries will make it easier for you to listen to your intuition and to think clearly.

Keep an intuition journal. Every day, use your intuition to make a guess about someone or something. Don't act on it, though. Just write it down. Focus on statements like "I have a feeling that..." or "My intuition tells me that..." If there are any sensations associated with your intuition, such as a vision, or physical discomfort, be sure to record it. Looking back in your journal, see how often you are right. As you learn more about how to recognise your intuition, and you see it leading you in the right direction, your confidence will grow and so will your intuitive power.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to understand your intuition, it can help you to start to work with your gut and to understand when you need to push yourself as your comfort zone grows, and the times when you need to listen to what your gut is telling you.

Try it today and start to realise that more often than not the answer to what you need is within yourself.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.

© EKTherapies

Mary Portas – Bottom Line

Some of you may have watched Mary Portas’ TV show on Channel 4, “Bottom Line”. If you did you will know what I am talking about, but for those who didn’t here is a quick explanation about the program from http://www.maryportas.com/bottomline/.

“Britain was once a manufacturing colossus, renowned for its world-class clothing industry. But today, most fashion is manufactured cheaply abroad and, across the UK, vast, bustling factories and skilled manufacturers have simply ceased operation. So when and why did we stop buying British? In Mary’s Bottom Line, Mary Portas wants to boost the UK clothing industry by starting her own production line to manufacture a key staple in any woman’s wardrobe – knickers.

So for this three-part Channel 4 series, Mary heads to Middleton near Manchester, where past generations used to thrive on a booming manufacturing industry, but these days many factories are closed and unemployment is rife. Mary will recruit eight apprentices, get them trained up, and start a knickers production line.

Mary is re-opening the sewing room floor at a factory owned by British nightwear manufacturers Headen and Quarmby. It was one of 11 thriving textile factories in Middleton, now it is the only one that remains. Established in 1935, the factory used to employ 60 machinists and produced thousands of items a week before competition from cheap imports forced the Company to send production abroad.

But can she really make pants cost-effectively? Can she find a retailer prepared to stock her knickers and, crucially, can she convince shoppers to pay a bit more for a British made product? Or is it really the end of the line for the UK’s textiles heritage?”

We have always been told that one person can change the world and this program showed me that it’s true. Although Mary Portas may be well connected and has many years in the fashion industry behind her, she is still just one person with an idea. Mary puts her heart and soul into trying to rebuild this industry and helping the local people come back to work. I was surprised how touched I was as I watched the program. We are rightfully becoming more and more aware of where our food is produced. So many of us make a conscious effort t to support British farmers who treat animals with respect, but we don’t always seem to give ourselves the same respect. It has become accepted, almost a joke, that all our clothes labels state “made in China”. We have forgotten about the industries that Britain used to thrive on.

You can watch the series now at http://www.channel4.com/programmes/marys-bottom-line/4od

I am proud to be British, and try to make a conscious effort to support us Brits. I know times are hard at the moment as threats of another recession loom and every penny counts, but becoming aware of how we, little us, can affect so much is a wonderful thing to realise; we really do have the power to change things. Maybe we are not able to set up something on the same scale as Mary but we can choose where we spend our money and what we talk about. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to have the confidence in your convictions.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.       

© EKTherapies 

New Job, New You

It is that time of year when many of us get restless and we start to look around for our next job. Just as important as ensuring you have edited and polished your CV before applying for the job you’re after, is making sure you are full of confidence and energy and ready to sell yourself to prospective employers.

Many of us have mixed emotions when it comes to the idea of starting a new job. Even if it is something that we have been dreaming of or a career stepping stone that we know is the right one, it is perfectly natural to feel nervous or anxious about the process of applying for a job and being interviewed. We feel the excitement as we begin to imagine what it would be like to be in our new role, but we also feel fear as we begin to think about the possibility of rejection. We begin to consider whether or not we have what it takes to be successful. The fear of failure begins to creep in and we worry about not succeeding, so our confidence can get knocked before we have even started.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to overcome any anxieties you have. It can help you with public speaking fears, confidence and anything else you feel you need to build on. You can learn how to walk into the interview room feeling calm and confident, ready to “sell” yourself to the company without being overly confident or arrogant. We all need to build on our skills, even if we are good at our current job, we need to learn how to adapt to a new company.

During a session of Hypnotherapy with CBT & NLP we can look at dealing with the weight of expectation you may be carrying and help you to challenge any negative beliefs, building on your strengths and understanding your weaknesses. We will then aim to turn any weaknesses into positives, putting you in a place to grow and develop from.

Even if the job you are going for is an internal promotion, you may still need help to combat old beliefs. We tend to feel that we need to know everything; to admit we have weaknesses can be seen as a negative but that’s not always the case. Often it is actually the opposite – the greatest things can be achieved if we let go of the fear of failure and accept that with a bit of help we can continue to grow.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

Help You, Help Yourself

How can we start to take the steps to look after our body and mind?

Here are some simple changes that you can make that will have a huge impact on how you feel. Life is a wonderful roller-coaster and we need the ups and downs in order to feel pushed and strive for the next step. But sometimes it can all get on top of us. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn techniques to deal with stress and give you tools to cope with and enjoy life in the future.

Try out some of these today and start to take control of how you feel.

Talk about your feelings: talking isn’t a sign of weakness; it is part of looking after your mental health. So often, when we talk to friends or loved ones, we realise that we are not as alone as we felt. So many people are going through the same thing but are scared to talk about it too. By you opening up you suddenly realise that your world is full of people who care for you.

Eat healthy: it has been proven that there are links between what we eat and how we feel. Foods like caffeine and sugar can have an immediate effect on us, but food can also have a long-lasting effect on our mental health. It can affect the nutrition our mind is getting. Think of your body like a machine that needs looking after, what we put in needs to be able to nourish it.

Keep in touch: just as talking isn't a sign of weakens, keeping in touch with friends and family can make you feel included and cared for. Often people have different views from you and they can help you to look at things from a different perspective. With the world growing and technology progressing we are more connected then we have ever been yet we feel more lonely and isolated than ever. Pick up the phone and talk to people, you will be amazed how much better you feel.

Take a break: take regular breaks, as little as 5 minutes. Get up, change the scene (break the state), walk around, take three deep breaths. By the time you come back you will feel calmer; it is a chance for your mind to unwind.

Accept who you are: you are you and that is a wonderful thing. You are a unique person, even if you are one of a pair of identical twins, you are still you. Good at different things. Accept that, for example, maths may not be your strong point. But where you thrive others struggle and vice versa. Understand your strengths and build on them.

Keep active: exercise is so important for our body and mind. It helps to release chemicals in your mind that eat up the stress hormone and make you feel good. Exercise boosts self-esteem and can help you concentrate, sleep well and look and feel better, helping you have a clear outlook on life. Exercise doesn’t have to be a session in the gym, it can be built into your day, like walking up the escalator or getting off the bus one stop earlier and walking briskly to and from work.

Listen to music: if you are feeling low put an upbeat song on and if possible sing along. Allow the rhythm of the music to flow through you. By the end of the song I am sure you will feel better than when it began. You are breaking the state and changing the rhythm within your body.

Sometimes in life we need a little extra help to let go of stresses and situations that we can’t seem to get past. Ask yourself, how much time do I spend de-stressing in the day? Life is good at putting the stress in, now it is time to learn how to take it out again. To see how Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you do this, please contact Erika.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information. 
 

Looking for an Unusual Christmas Gift?

Do you know someone who has always been curious to know more about hypnotherapy? Is there someone who would benefit from having some new tools in their toolbox to help them take the step to achieving their goals?

If you are looking for a different gift idea why not give someone a Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP consultation. The session is an hour long and it will give them a chance to learn a bit more about hypnotherapy and to see how hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help them to achieve their goals.

Even after just one session they will feel empowered and confident that they are starting to head in the right direction, taking steps to achieve their goals. There is no obligation for them to have more sessions.

Don’t take my word for it, here are a testimonials from people who have started to work with the power of their mind.

"Erika kindly explained to me the benefits of hypnosis and I subsequently had three sessions in order to tackle issues with confidence. Immediately after the first session I noticed a difference and this continued throughout the course. Every session Erika gave me techniques to ensure I could manage my confidence levels outside of the sessions, which was extremely useful. Erika exudes positivity and professionalism which puts you at ease with the process and I was confident that she was able to help me. I am very glad I attended the sessions, as it has completely changed my life and I would recommend it to anyone to enhance their life." Liz, London

"Erika has helped me to regain my positive outlook on life! I've gone from being stressed and confused a month ago to now feeling more focused and confident. With Erika's help I've become decisive enough to make some big changes that have set up an exciting future for me. The results of our sessions have been better than I could've expected!" Andy, London

Click here to see the kind of things that can be treated.

Please contact Erika to arrange a personalised gift voucher today. This Christmas, give someone the gift of working with the most powerful tool they will ever have: themselves.

"The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitude of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." William James

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

Public Speaking

For many of us the idea of public speaking brings us out in a cold sweat as butterflies start to race around our stomachs. But how come something that we do every day so easily like speaking all of a sudden becomes terrifying? Many of us would like to avoid public speaking entirely but this is not always possible. Making presentations, giving talks, a bestman's speech at a wedding, business meetings, the list of when we may have to confront our fears of public speaking is endless.

There are many reasons why public speaking starts to turn us to jelly. Here are just a few common reasons:

• Self-consciousness – this could be because of accent, grammar, voice, image, the way we stand, how we perceive ourselves
• Lack of confidence – often stems from a feeling that others are better speakers than ourselves or that they know more about the topic in question
• Unfamiliar situation – unless public speaking is something you do regularly the formality of speaking to an audience can cause apprehension
• Fear of looking foolish – we worry that we might forget what we want to say or stumble over words, even say the wrong thing
• When you start to panic over public speaking your body goes into fight or flight mode, releasing adrenaline to help you cope with the situation

Public speaking is a perceived threat and although that perception feels all too real to those who suffer from it, the act of public speaking can do us no harm. Public speaking doesn’t have to be stressful, it can even be enjoyable. If you correctly understand the hidden causes of public speaking stress and if you learn a few tricks to calm your body and mind, it will soon become an invigorating and satisfying experience. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to conquer any public speaking anxieties you have by building up your confidence, helping you to remain relaxed and calm. You can learn your body’s unique reactions to stress and anxiety and develop a healthy and positive way of thinking and feeling. You wouldn’t walk into a meeting having not prepared what you want to say, in the same way you need to prepare both body and mind for how you are going to say it, so you walk into the room ready to speak clearly and confidently.

Imagine, instead of public speaking filling you with dread, you can learn to enjoy it, even to look forward to writing and giving a presentation. Take the first step today to conquering your public speaking fears, relaxing in the weeks leading up to it and even enjoying giving the speech as your new found confidence fills the room.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

The Duchess of Cambridge - Confident, Elegant a Role Model

The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate (Catherine) Middleton. What springs to mind when you hear her name?

For me, the first think I think of is a confident, elegant woman and someone who always has a smile on her face.

Kate is becoming a style icon, a role model for not only young girls, but also for the older generations too. She carries herself with such confidence and composition, understanding her role and fulfilling it perfectly. Kate’s confidence comes across in how she holds herself and how she dresses, wearing clothes that suit her own style - including high-street brands as well as the top-end designer clothes too. She feels accessible to us, wearing clothes we recognise or may even own ourselves.

Whilst I am sure behind closed doors she has her moments of uncertainty as we all do, in the public eye she always comes across as very confident and sure of herself but in a gentle, inoffensive way.

So how did Kate become so confident? Is this something she was born with, a gift? Or is this something we can all learn to develop in ourselves?

It is easy to put people like Kate onto a pedestal and think that you will never be able to be as confident as them but as with us all her confidence is always growing and developing. She remains in her comfort zone but probably still pushes the boundaries. You can see this on her first tour as the newly-married Duchess to Canada. Kate was not pushed to do any public speaking; she is still learning the ropes and didn’t push herself to do more than she felt comfortable with. I am sure that as she gets used to her new role and develops her confidence she will begin to push her boundaries more and publicly speak to people, inspiring them on the way.

Of course Kate has access to the best advice money can buy but she still needs to take all of this on board and continue to grow, becoming the person the public admire and look up to.

I can’t claim to know what methods Kate uses to deal with the pressure of becoming one of the most photographed women in the world. I do know from seeing my clients develop and achieve things they could have only dreamt of, that Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP can help to teach you what your strengths are. Giving you the tools you need to become a more confident person, believing in yourself and your abilities; from the way you carry yourself to the way you dress. All these little signs we give off reveal how we feel. You can learn how to challenge your negative beliefs and achieve the goals you never thought possible. Kate gives us all a chance to see that if you focus on your strengths and build on them, having the confidence to believe in yourself you can achieve incredible things.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.       

Have confidence in your ideas like Tom Pellereau, winner of The Apprentice

Tom Pellereau has won The Apprentice and I am sure anyone who has been following the series was closely watching the final episode trying to second guess where Lord Sugar’s finger would point next and who would come out triumphant.

I, like many people, was sure that Helen Milligan was going to continue on her amazing almost perfect record and win no problem, but Helen didn’t follow her gut instinct; she did what she thought Lord Sugar would want and not what she was passionate about and good at.

Whilst most of us have to answer to someone and have to curb our ideas to fit the role we are trying to fill, it is still important to have the confidence in your own beliefs and ideas. I’m sure Helen Milligan is an amazing employee and any company would be very lucky to have her. She is very hard-working (almost too much as she puts work before her own life), but if Helen had stuck to what she knew best and presented Lord Sugar with a baking concept I am sure she would have been stiff competition for Tom. Unfortunately, at the last hurdle she decided to go with what she thought would make Lord Sugar happy and designed an invisible concept. Even Lord Sugar himself was shocked at her choice of business plan.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to have the confidence in your abilities and to have the strength to carry on with an idea. It is important to be able to recognise when you are going down the wrong road and be able to listen to other people’s ideas and advice but it is as important to be able to recognise when you have seen something maybe one of you colleagues hasn’t and have the confidence in yourself to explain your approach clearly.

I think it is brilliant that Tom has won The Apprentice and I believe that with the support of Lord Sugar he will continue to be an amazing inventor. It is a good reminder that you don’t need to be an intimidating bully to make it in the business world, you just need the confidence to put your ideas forward and not allow people’s negative opinions to affect you and make you change your core beliefs and values.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.