Negative self-talk: how it affects us

What is self-talk? Self-talk is the internal dialog we all have ongoing through our minds every day. This internal dialog can take two forms, positive and negative.

Are you a positive thinker or a negative thinker? Do you tell yourself: Yes I can do this. I can reach my goal. Or do you tell yourself: I will never get that job so there is no point going for the interview. I am fat. I am stupid.

We all have moments of self-doubt where we question whether we can achieve something, but the difference between a constant negative thought pattern and a positive one is the difference between a person who never feels good enough and a person who feels content with life, happily challenged.

We all know those people who seem to have it all. They are always so happy. But when you stop and look at their life next to yours they have nothing more than you - sometimes they even have less than you. The difference is their internal dialog is set to positive; they look for the positive and they appreciate the things they have got.

Negative self-talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to stagnation, self-pity, depression and many more negative influences. When we repeat a negative statement over and over again we begin to believe it. “I am not good enough” may prevent us from taking the steps to achieve a promotion that we are easily qualified for. It gives us a lack of confidence that isn’t based on anything real, but reinforced by the internal negative dialog. Eventually these thoughts become all consuming and you find that you approach every aspect of your life with this negativity, beginning to feel stressed easily, depressed and having a lack of confidence and motivation.

Changing the internal dialog to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. If instead of saying “I am not good enough”, say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity no one can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own though process.

Very often the nature of our self-talk originates from a very early age. It may be a teacher that said you weren’t good enough, or a parent that always made you believe anything is possible.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to challenge the source of the negative thoughts and change them to positive ones. Eventually you will surround yourself with positive thoughts and that will create an environment that will allow you to live your best possible life.

Here a few easy steps to start to become positive:

· Smile more.

· Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first. Start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head and turn it into a positive one. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking in the positive first.

· Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.

· Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.

We all have the ability to retrain our minds, we do it every day. Give it a go. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What could you gain? Everything.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   
 

© EKTherapies

Does the Past Form Our future

Does the past form our future? Just because we are used to acting a certain way or something happened to us in the past, does that mean that that is how we are going to be for the rest of our lives?

The past does form who we are, it helps us to learn and to get a better understanding of what we do or don’t want out of life, but it doesn’t have to control our future.

In my work I work in a positive direction, looking at where you want to get to, how you want to feel and what you would like to achieve. Although we may look into what contributed to you feeling the way you do, to me it is more important to focus on what you DO want rather than what you DON'T want. We can expect that the past is always part of us but we can choose whether or not to allow it to rule our future. It sounds so simple but we can choose whether to give a thought energy and momentum, be it a positive one or a negative one. We are the ones in control of our own minds - this in itself can be one of the most powerful thoughts. Look how powerful it can be if we start on a negative spiral for example. We can imagine things so vividly even though the chance of them happening is less than .001%, but we still feel the physical and physiological responses as if it had already happened. Or there are the psychosomatic cases when you tell your brain you are ill and it starts to give you the symptoms as if you really were.

It is also important to accept that even when you work with the positive, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have the odd "down" day - life is after all a wonderful rollercoaster - and we need the “down” days to appreciate the good ones, but the “down” days should be few and far between.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to realise any emotions/blockages from the past, and maybe not forgive, but overcome the power of the past so that you can focus on how you want to be.

There is no doubt that there are some things that may have happened in the past that form you and are hard to let go of, but if we accept that they are there, then we can either let them rule us or we can learn from them and allow ourselves the space to continue to grow.

In both my professional life and my personal life, I find great strength from my grandmother who was an Auschwitz survivor ( German Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp 1940–1945, her story is told in her book, From Thessaloniki to Auschwitz and Back ). Undoubtedly Auschwitz left her with her demons, haunting her throughout her life, but nevertheless she was the most positive person I have ever met; she found the strength within herself to forgive what had happened and used that strength to create the most amazing life. Her positive energy is always with me when I work, helping me to stay strong and be the best therapist I can be.

There are countless examples of people who have changed their destiny, let go of the past and focussed on what they do want rather than what they can’t change.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are amazing tools in helping you understand what drives you, helping you to become a more positive person. So many of my clients turn their lives around even though nothing has physically changed; they still have the same car, job, house etc, but simply their perspective has changed. Rather than allowing themselves to focus on the few tiny things in life that aren’t quite right they start to focus on all the things that are right, giving them the strength to challenge themselves and take on tasks they never thought possible.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

© EKTherapies

Stop and Say Thank You!

Happy May Bank Holiday. We are already in the 5th month of 2012; as with every year 2012 is flying by at a healthy pace. This year has had so much focus on it with the Olympics, which is now fast approaching.

It can feel like we are on a constant treadmill - the days, weeks and months pass us by.

Whatever you are doing today take a moment to stop and say thank you. Look at the world around you. You could take a moment to sit on a park bench and breathe in the spring smells in the air. Take a few moments to stop and look at the life that you have created for yourself. Even if you are in the middle of creating a new path for yourself and you feel that it is all an uphill struggle, look at how far you have come. Even if you have only just started your journey realise what an achievement it is to have started it at all. Be grateful for what you have achieved, take it all in, the good bits and the harder bits.

If you really feel that you have nothing to say thank you for, then see if maybe you need to change the life you lead. Find your drive.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to focus on the positive and enjoy this life for all its wonderful twist and turns. It is so easy to be focused on the negative - to focus on what we don’t have, what we are still striving for - and whilst it is brilliant to have goals and improve ourselves, it is also as important to stop and appreciate the journey along the way. See how far you have come and say thank you for the world that you are in now.

It is so easy to take for granted what we have now, sometimes only if the carpet is whipped form underneath us do we realise just what we had.

So take a moment today to stop and say thank you. I am sure you will be amazed at what you see.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.

© EKTherapies 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a hot topic at the moment. Although Mindfulness seems to be a new thing in the Western world it is an ancient practice found in a wide range of Eastern philosophies, including Buddhism, Taoism and Yoga. So what is it?

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that helps us to live in the moment, wake up, connect with ourselves. To be mindful is to be aware of your thoughts and actions in the present, without judging yourself. It is the art of conscious living.

"Paying attention in a particular way:on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally." Jon Kabat-Zinn

“Bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis.” Marlatt &Kristeller

“Consciously bringing awareness to your here-and-now experience, with openness, interest and receptiveness.” The Happiness Trap

How to Try Mindfulness Meditation

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. Sit in a chair or on the floor with your head, neck and back straight but not stiff.

2. Try to put aside all thoughts of the past and the future and stay in the present

3. Become aware of your breathing, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body as you breathe. Feel your belly rise and fall, the air enter your nostrils and leave your mouth. Pay attention to the way each breath changes and is different

4. Watch every thought come and go, whether it be a worry, fear, anxiety or hope. When thoughts come up in your mind, don't ignore or suppress them but simply note them, remain calm and use your breathing as an anchor

5. If you find yourself getting carried away in your thoughts, observe where your mind went off to, without judging, and simply return to your breathing. Remember not to be hard on yourself if this happens. Just notice that the feelings change overtime

6. As the time comes to a close, sit for a minute or two, becoming aware of where you are. When you are ready get up gradually

Mindfulness helps people to see their situation, thoughts and feelings in a non-judgemental way so they can stop themselves from reacting impulsively. It gives them time and space to consider a new way of acting, to break a negative cycle of thinking and doing, and to feel more in control of their actions.

Try it now and see the benefits for yourself.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can hep you to become more aware of yourself and your feelings. To find out what else this amazing combination of therapies can help please click here.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.       

© EKTherapies 

Blue Monday

Apparently today 16th January is Blue Monday. It is considered the most depressing day of the year.

How can one predict the most depressing day of the year? Who knows what is going to happen on this day and the next and the one after that?

Tomorrow will be here sooner than we think, and it can be a better day. We are too good at focusing on what is missing or wrong in our life, but we can change and look at what we do have. We can start to focus on the 70% (or more) that is right in our life rather than the small amount that needs improving.

It is good to have stuff to strive for; we need goals, dreams, targets and aspirations. But it is also important to stop and appreciate where we have got to and enjoy the life that we have created for ourselves.

The world continues turning and life goes on day by day.It is up to us to make our own lives as good as we can. You can learn to work with the positive and to see what we do have in life – a Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP session can help you to have this outlook.


Today can be whatever you want it to be. Yes it may be cold outside, the evenings may be dark, but we have passed the shortest day of the year. Summer is on the way. We can either get there with a smile on our faces or allow ourselves to be dragged down into a negative spiral.


Take control of how you feel today. You can learn a different way of dealing with stress and let go of the anxiety in your life. Today can be the best day of your year as it is the start of working with the power of your mind, focusing on the positive and realising that we choose where we put the energy. You can choose to put it towards positive thinking; you will be amazed at how you can change your perspective and realise that life is quite an amazing thing to be involved in.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

How to work with the Power of the Mind

Our thoughts, what we say and what we hear all have a powerful effect on our everyday experiences and beliefs.

Henry Ford said it perfectly:

Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.

Changing our internal dialogue to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. Instead of thinking “I am not good enough”, think “I can do this”; or instead of saying “I will never be able to do that so why try”, say “I know that if I trust in myself and prepare properly I can achieve anything”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will feel happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity nobody can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own thought processes.

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first but start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought, or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head by turning it into a positive one. Challenge that negative thought and question whether you are right to think that way. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking more positively from the outset.

Begin working with these simple tools in mind:

• Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.
• Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.
• Surround yourself with people who have the same positive view as you. When you are with a negative person then allow their views to wash over you and focus on why you want to achieve your goal. 

Think of it like:

Suggestions/Words/Thoughts

+

Feelings

+

Beliefs

+

Behaviour

=

Success or Failure

These are just a few simple steps you can begin to work with to understand the power of your mind and to start working with it rather than against it. To understand more and learn more techniques come for a Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP session and see how you can achieve your goals in a positive and focused way.


By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.