Negative self-talk: how it affects us

What is self-talk? Self-talk is the internal dialog we all have ongoing through our minds every day. This internal dialog can take two forms, positive and negative.

Are you a positive thinker or a negative thinker? Do you tell yourself: Yes I can do this. I can reach my goal. Or do you tell yourself: I will never get that job so there is no point going for the interview. I am fat. I am stupid.

We all have moments of self-doubt where we question whether we can achieve something, but the difference between a constant negative thought pattern and a positive one is the difference between a person who never feels good enough and a person who feels content with life, happily challenged.

We all know those people who seem to have it all. They are always so happy. But when you stop and look at their life next to yours they have nothing more than you - sometimes they even have less than you. The difference is their internal dialog is set to positive; they look for the positive and they appreciate the things they have got.

Negative self-talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to stagnation, self-pity, depression and many more negative influences. When we repeat a negative statement over and over again we begin to believe it. “I am not good enough” may prevent us from taking the steps to achieve a promotion that we are easily qualified for. It gives us a lack of confidence that isn’t based on anything real, but reinforced by the internal negative dialog. Eventually these thoughts become all consuming and you find that you approach every aspect of your life with this negativity, beginning to feel stressed easily, depressed and having a lack of confidence and motivation.

Changing the internal dialog to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. If instead of saying “I am not good enough”, say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity no one can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own though process.

Very often the nature of our self-talk originates from a very early age. It may be a teacher that said you weren’t good enough, or a parent that always made you believe anything is possible.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to challenge the source of the negative thoughts and change them to positive ones. Eventually you will surround yourself with positive thoughts and that will create an environment that will allow you to live your best possible life.

Here a few easy steps to start to become positive:

· Smile more.

· Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first. Start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head and turn it into a positive one. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking in the positive first.

· Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.

· Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.

We all have the ability to retrain our minds, we do it every day. Give it a go. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What could you gain? Everything.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   
 

© EKTherapies

Does the Past Form Our future

Does the past form our future? Just because we are used to acting a certain way or something happened to us in the past, does that mean that that is how we are going to be for the rest of our lives?

The past does form who we are, it helps us to learn and to get a better understanding of what we do or don’t want out of life, but it doesn’t have to control our future.

In my work I work in a positive direction, looking at where you want to get to, how you want to feel and what you would like to achieve. Although we may look into what contributed to you feeling the way you do, to me it is more important to focus on what you DO want rather than what you DON'T want. We can expect that the past is always part of us but we can choose whether or not to allow it to rule our future. It sounds so simple but we can choose whether to give a thought energy and momentum, be it a positive one or a negative one. We are the ones in control of our own minds - this in itself can be one of the most powerful thoughts. Look how powerful it can be if we start on a negative spiral for example. We can imagine things so vividly even though the chance of them happening is less than .001%, but we still feel the physical and physiological responses as if it had already happened. Or there are the psychosomatic cases when you tell your brain you are ill and it starts to give you the symptoms as if you really were.

It is also important to accept that even when you work with the positive, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have the odd "down" day - life is after all a wonderful rollercoaster - and we need the “down” days to appreciate the good ones, but the “down” days should be few and far between.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to realise any emotions/blockages from the past, and maybe not forgive, but overcome the power of the past so that you can focus on how you want to be.

There is no doubt that there are some things that may have happened in the past that form you and are hard to let go of, but if we accept that they are there, then we can either let them rule us or we can learn from them and allow ourselves the space to continue to grow.

In both my professional life and my personal life, I find great strength from my grandmother who was an Auschwitz survivor ( German Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp 1940–1945, her story is told in her book, From Thessaloniki to Auschwitz and Back ). Undoubtedly Auschwitz left her with her demons, haunting her throughout her life, but nevertheless she was the most positive person I have ever met; she found the strength within herself to forgive what had happened and used that strength to create the most amazing life. Her positive energy is always with me when I work, helping me to stay strong and be the best therapist I can be.

There are countless examples of people who have changed their destiny, let go of the past and focussed on what they do want rather than what they can’t change.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are amazing tools in helping you understand what drives you, helping you to become a more positive person. So many of my clients turn their lives around even though nothing has physically changed; they still have the same car, job, house etc, but simply their perspective has changed. Rather than allowing themselves to focus on the few tiny things in life that aren’t quite right they start to focus on all the things that are right, giving them the strength to challenge themselves and take on tasks they never thought possible.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

© EKTherapies

How does Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP work together

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are powerful therapies in themselves but used together they give you the chance to look at your challenge from lots of different angles, giving you the best chance to have the tools you need to become the person you want to be.

To understand how these therapies can work together, I think it is good to have a general understanding of them as individual therapies first. There are many descriptions for what Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are and some of them are very technical in depth. Rather than setting out a long technical explanation I am going to explain them in nice easy terms.

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy is a way of quieting the conscious mind so that you can talk to the subconscious mind. Sometimes even though consciously we want to do something if we don’t have the subconscious mind thinking the same thing then the outcome will always be the same even though consciously we want something different. By talking to someone’s subconscious you can help the internal thought process to be working towards what they want and not still on the old auto pilot. Allowing our subconscious to take over (on autopilot) is something that we do on a daily basis, like when you "zone out" for a while. There are lots of different ways to get a person into trance (a relaxed state of mind where you can speak to the subconscious), it depends on individual characters and expectations, but rest assured almost everyone can be put into a trance.

What is NLP?

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the fundamental dynamics between your mind, language (internal and external) and how the programing of them affects our body and behaviour.

Neuro – the neurological system regulates how our bodies function

Linguistic – language, the words we choose to use to communicate with others and ourselves

Programming – the models/links of the world we create (learned behaviour)

Once you understand the mental programming then you can use the power of words and imagery to help someone change their neurological path and therefore produce different behaviour.

What is CBT?

CBT (Cognitive behavioural Therapy) focuses on the ‘here and now’ to help you feel better. Through talking you challenge negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Instead of focussing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past, it looks for ways to improve your state of mind now.
With all of these therapies the client remains in control with the therapist helping the client to make the change they are looking to make. You will leave the session with the tools to continue the work started in the sessions and develop into the person you want to be.

Hopefully you now have an outline about these three therapies. As I said they work very well by themselves and often I end up using only one with a client as that is what they respond to best. The great thing about being able to use all three is that I can give my clients the best chance to achieve their goals because if one therapy doesn’t work so well for them then I can use another.

I tend to use a combination of all three therapies, using CBT to ask clients questions that challenge them to see a different way, NLP to help integrate the mind with their new thought pattern and Hypnotherapy to tie the three together and help make sure the subconscious is working in the same direction and not still on the old track.

To find out what kind of things can be treated with this powerful combination click here.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   

© EKTherapies

How are You Motivated?

We are all motivated by different things. To some people money is the motivator, to others family, friends, food, laughter, environment etc.

Even the most motivated of people will have periods of feeling unmotivated. It can feel like even thinking about doing something to change our outlook seems too difficult. Sometimes life can feel like an uphill struggle, but you can find your motivation again and get started down a more positive road to change; you will be amazed at how quickly you can find that motivation once you start down that road.

So how do you find what motivates you? Spend some time with yourself and ask yourself some questions. What drives you? Is it money, career, family, holidays, time off? Are you motivated by towards motivation or away from motivation (  think carrot or stick ). Once you have the answers to this then look at your life. Are you pushing yourself where you need to, or is all your energy being used on a goal that you actually don’t really mind it you reach or not?

Money of course is motivator for us all, we need money to live, but how much do you need? Is it all about earning as much as possible or is it just earning enough to enjoy life? We are brought up with aspirations to climb the career ladder and whilst for many of us getting to the top of our career is important, for a lot of others work isn’t our driver. It can be that, recognising this, you realise that you are happy doing what you are doing, you don’t feel the need to push yourself to the top of the ladder. You are happy to earn a bit less but have less stress and be able to focus more on your life out of work.

Try it now:

Sit back and look at your life, are you putting energy into things that aren’t important to you? Can you change these things or are they things you have to do in order to head towards your goals?

Are you doing too much? How much down-time do you have? Do you give yourself time in the day to relax and enjoy the world that you have created?

Are you really excited by what you are trying to achieve? If not, why not? Can you change what you are heading towards so you are excited?

Are you a carrot or a stick person. Do you work well with towards motivation or away from motivation? Do you work well with deadlines and the pressure that brings or do you work better working toward rewards and goals.

Remember all motivation ebbs and flows, are you being realistic in how motivated you are expecting yourself to feel? If you are, then expect it and try to find a way to build on that motivation.

Set yourself mini goals to reach the big goal, that way you can see the progress you are making and you are more likely to keep on going.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to understand your motivators and start to work with them. You will be amazed at how just understanding your motivators can help you so much.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information. 

© EKTherapies

Can we Change our Perspective?

Can we change the way we look at things? Does it really make that big a difference? How come you can feel really low and then a good song comes on the radio and by the end of it you feel all uplifted with a spring in your step? Does what we say to ourselves really affect us that much?

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.” Henry Ford

It can be hard to keep a sense of perspective in our lives. We are constantly bombarded with seemingly urgent things, like phone calls, texts, instant messages, emails, tweets etc. It can feel that we live each day in a constant rush against time with an endless list of things to do. We tend to focus on the negative, what we have to do, what we haven’t achieved, rather than focusing on the good in our life. Changing your perspective can be incredibly refreshing, it can help you see the good in life and calmly tackle any challenges that come your way.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

It sounds almost too easy to be true but if we work with The power of The mind we really can change how we think and consequently how we feel. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn the tools to let go of the past or those niggling thoughts and enjoy life. Here are a few simple ways to change your perspective; give one a try today and see how you can feel calmer and more positive.

• Open your eyes and see the world around you. It can be all too easy to focus inwards, and whilst it is good to look at yourself it is also important to notice the world around you.
• Ask “Will it matter in five years?” Almost always the answer is that it won’t matter in a week let alone five years. Some moments are life changing but most of what we worry about, with hindsight or clear thinking, is really not worth any stress.
• Write down how you are feeling. By putting pen to paper you help to clear your mind of all your thoughts and you can start seeing the situation more clearly, understanding where you need to focus your energy in order to change it.
• Stop and take stock. It is good to strive for goals but it is also just as important to stop and breathe, to enjoy what you have created. When you go home tonight, look around you and smile, say thank you for what you do have in your life.
• Go for a walk / break state. When you are feeling like everything is getting on top of you or your mind is wearing away, try going for a walk, break the state, change what you are doing. Walking helps you to de-stress and gives you a chance to clear your head and gain a clearer perspective.
• Be in the moment. Whatever it is you are doing, whether it is housework or sending an email or even walking in the park, be in the moment. Enjoy that moment for what it is. Absorb the world you are in, look around and take it all in for this moment.
• Ask “why” and keep asking. Next time you are struggling to get a perspective on something ask why you are doing it. Challenge your inner self for the answer. It may be that you are pushing for something that you don’t really want.
• Have “downtime”. Think about how much time you really give yourself in a day to de-stress. Even if you find just ten minutes in the day give these to yourself to sit and breathe, maybe go for a walk whilst being in the moment, or read a book. Allow yourself this down time.

These are just a few simple suggestions, there are so many more ways that you can change your perspective and how you feel about the life you are living. Even though nothing has changed in your life, if you change your perspective then it can feel like you are living a new happy life.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.        

© EKTherapies

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a hot topic at the moment. Although Mindfulness seems to be a new thing in the Western world it is an ancient practice found in a wide range of Eastern philosophies, including Buddhism, Taoism and Yoga. So what is it?

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that helps us to live in the moment, wake up, connect with ourselves. To be mindful is to be aware of your thoughts and actions in the present, without judging yourself. It is the art of conscious living.

"Paying attention in a particular way:on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally." Jon Kabat-Zinn

“Bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis.” Marlatt &Kristeller

“Consciously bringing awareness to your here-and-now experience, with openness, interest and receptiveness.” The Happiness Trap

How to Try Mindfulness Meditation

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. Sit in a chair or on the floor with your head, neck and back straight but not stiff.

2. Try to put aside all thoughts of the past and the future and stay in the present

3. Become aware of your breathing, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body as you breathe. Feel your belly rise and fall, the air enter your nostrils and leave your mouth. Pay attention to the way each breath changes and is different

4. Watch every thought come and go, whether it be a worry, fear, anxiety or hope. When thoughts come up in your mind, don't ignore or suppress them but simply note them, remain calm and use your breathing as an anchor

5. If you find yourself getting carried away in your thoughts, observe where your mind went off to, without judging, and simply return to your breathing. Remember not to be hard on yourself if this happens. Just notice that the feelings change overtime

6. As the time comes to a close, sit for a minute or two, becoming aware of where you are. When you are ready get up gradually

Mindfulness helps people to see their situation, thoughts and feelings in a non-judgemental way so they can stop themselves from reacting impulsively. It gives them time and space to consider a new way of acting, to break a negative cycle of thinking and doing, and to feel more in control of their actions.

Try it now and see the benefits for yourself.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can hep you to become more aware of yourself and your feelings. To find out what else this amazing combination of therapies can help please click here.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.       

© EKTherapies 

Everyone Has Ups and Downs, it is What You Do With Them That Sets Us Apart

It is easy when we see successful people to think that they are just lucky, that they haven’t really had to work for it, that they don’t know the meaning of being poor or having to dig themselves out of a mental pit.

For a few people fortunes do just fall in their laps; since the creation of the National Lottery there are the lucky few who become millionaires overnight. I am sure even this wealth, although amazing, comes with big demons that if not confronted could mean the old ways are not far away.

For most of us though we get to where we are through hard work, sometimes hitting rock bottom, learning what we needed to learn and then building ourselves back up again. A great example of this is J. K. Rowling.

This is her story, I hope it inspires you and gives you hope that you can find happiness.

Before she became the world famous and wealthy author she is today, things were very different for Rowling. Separated from her husband, living in a rented flat in Edinburgh while looking after her young baby, Rowling was diagnosed with clinical depression. During this period she sat and wrote in cafes while living on social security; she even contemplated suicide. Yet at every turn, Rowling found inspiration. 

The death of her mother gave her a clear insight into loss, causing her to rewrite Harry Potter's experience as an orphan. Her experience of depression brought her the idea of the Dementors, soul-sucking creatures that feature in her books.

Even with what we now know is an amazing novel in her hands, seven years after graduating from university, Rowling saw herself as "the biggest failure I knew." She managed to learn from this feeling too. Rowling recalls: "Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy to finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one area where I truly belonged. I was set free... I was still alive... I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

Even with her novel completed, and getting ready to become a teacher, she still had her setbacks. Amazingly, "Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone" was rejected by 12 publishers. Then, the daughter of the chairman of Bloomsbury read the first chapter, found it utterly compelling and demanded to see the rest.

This was the start of the turnaround in Rowling's fortunes, and as they say the rest is history.

Sometimes in life we need to recognise when we are heading up the "wrong" path and help ourselves to learn what we need to learn before we embark on the "right" path. Hypnotherapy, CBT& NLP can help you to release negative emotions, let go of old beliefs, forgive yourself for what has been, and help you to walk on the "right"path. The "right" path will still have highs and lows on it but we are working with ourselves, our knowledge, our passions, and striving to achieve what we want to achieve, making life worth living.


By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.      

© EKTherapies 

Can A Good Cry Be The Answer?

As a British woman I have grown up with the British stigma that still seems to be around about the stiff upper lip. Whilst there is a time to show emotions, not just sadness but also happiness, sometimes all we need is a good cry and then we can start to laugh about life again.       

In Japan, crying is expected and there is even a “crying boom”. Instead of karaoke bars after work to wind down, business people watch weepy films called “tear films” in crying clubs, to help them let go of the day.

Whilst I am not suggesting that we all join crying clubs, it may be time realise that it is ok to cry, sometimes you just need to let it out. It is not a sign of weakness, quite the opposite. Many things in life do need to be mourned over and you often need time to heal. Whilst I believe in the power of laughter and positive thoughts I also believe in forgiving yourself and allowing yourself the time to heal. Life is a roller coaster and the “downs” help you to learn and appreciate the “ups”. You can have a good cry, let it all out, clear away the cobwebs and then laugh away with a new energy having let goof the old sadness.

'When you're upset and stressed, you have an imbalance and build-up of chemicals in the body and crying helps to reduce that,' says Dr Abigael San, chartered clinical psychologist.

New research is showing that tears could actually be a way of flushing out negative chemical from our bodies. So why is it good to allow yourself to cry?
Research has found three types of tears:

Basal Tears

Basal tears contain Lysozyme, a powerful and fast acing antibacterial and antiviral agent. This is the layer of protective fluid that covers our eyeballs. This fluid is secreted by the lachrymal glands, which sit above each eye. Without this basal fluid our eyes would be in danger of drying out and become susceptible to bacterial attack.

Eye Watering

One of the most important functions crying can have is to protect our eyes from irritants and foreign bodies, such as dust or getting rid of the acidic fumes when cutting onions. These tears are known as reflex tears. When our eyes come under attack from irritants, the lachrymal glands in our eyes start stimulating more fluid to wash away the irritant and drain it from the eye.

Emotional/stress-related tears

A study by Dr William H.Frey II, a biochemist at the St Paul-Ramsey Medical Centre in Minnesota, found that there is an important chemical difference between emotional or stress-related tears and those simply caused by physical irritants – such as when cutting onions. They found that emotional tears contained more of the protein-based hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and Leucine Enkephalin (a natural painkiller), all of which are produced by our body when under stress.

'Crying can help release tension and stress, as well as expressing emotions,' says Dr Abigael San,chartered clinical psychologist.

Crying is a natural part of us, just as is laughing. If you are crying all the time and feel like you can never find that high point, then you might need help to realise a feeling or help cope with stress. But it is ok to have a cry every now and then, to allow your body that emotional release. You will be surprised how much better you feel after it.

Sometimes we need to allow the tears out to make way for the laughter and those positive thoughts.


Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to deal with any stressors you have or grievances that you feel you need to “let go” of or “deal” with, so that you can laugh more and cry through tears of laughter instead of sadness.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

© EKTherapies 

Stop Smoking Discount. Today is the last day you can take advantage of 1/3 off your one-off stop smoking treatment ( quote blog ) - that's a 33% discount! *

Today is the last day you can take advantage of 33% off your one-off stop smoking session.*

Since the smoking ban came into force across the UK there have been changes in the country's overall health. Here are extracts from articles that illustrate this.

• Since Scotland introduced a ban on smoking in public places in 2006 there has been a 10% drop in the country's premature birth rate. Tobacco smoke has been linked to poor foetal growth and placenta problems. Plos Medicine analysed smoking and birthrates for all expectant women in Scotland before and after the ban. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17262897
• The number of emergency hospital admissions for heart attacks in England has fallen since the smoking ban was introduced three years ago, according to a new report. The decrease saved the NHS almost 8 and a half million pounds in just a year. 9th June 2010 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10271620  
• Ex-smokers Tracey Irving and Matthew Henderson knew smoking around their asthmatic young daughter Ellie was bad for her health, but did not realise that even smoking outside could harm her. Since they stopped smoking, Ellie's health drastically improved and she no longer needs an inhaler. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8583935.stm 

The government are now looking into banning smoking in cars; it is already illegal to smoke in cars used by the public such as taxis and buses, but it won’t be long before smoking in private cars will also be banned. Take the decision to stop smoking on your terms before the government forces you to stop.

You can take control of the power cigarettes have over you and take the first steps to enjoying life as a non-smoker in a positive and focused way. Book a one off Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP session today.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.    

*book by 19th March 2012 to receive 33% discount

Live Life!

The Guardian published a fascinating article in February about the top five regrets of the dying, written from the findings from a palliative nurse. I found it an interesting read, thought-provoking and well worth sharing.

“ Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed, deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. How many times have you thought: “I wish someone had told me that before?" So often people do advise or warn us but we carry on regardless. It is important that we learn from our own mistakes but we can also learn from the wisdom of others – if so many people realise retrospectively that they should have changed their perspective on what is important in life, maybe we should listen more. "

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to change your perspective on life and see where you need to focus your energy. It can help you to realise your goals, release any anxiety, fears or old expectations, allowing you to be the person you want to be. This gives you time to focus on the wonderful life you have created, with all its wonderful twists and turns.

 By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Could Laughter be the Key to Happiness?

Laughter is infectious; we all know the amazing feeling of losing yourself in the energy of laughter. But could laughter be the key to happiness? People have started to harness this and create laughter workshops, where you go to laugh, even if it starts out as a forced laugh, the endorphins and benefits still affect your body and mood.

Research has shown the health benefits of laughter are far-reaching, studies have shown that laughter can help pain relief through the releasing of endorphins, increase the immune system, decrease stress, change the “negative” chemicals in the mind, ease conflict, lighten burdens, inspire hope, connect you to others and generally just make you feel better, more energetic and happier, bringing your body and mind back into balance.

“Your sense of humour is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

This may all seem a bit far-fetched, can laughing really help you to feel better ? We know the benefits of exercise and how that helps us to reduce stress hormones. It helps our bodies to feel more energetic, it clears our minds and allows us to have clear focus again. So can laughter do the same thing? If we build laughter into our day just as we do with exercise we can increase our happiness. Laughter is an incredibly strong medicine for mind and body – it is free, convenient and beneficial in so many ways.

So how do you get more laughter in your life?

We can find laughter in so many ways, maybe for you it is laughing at films or the TV, laughing with friends, comedy clubs, funny clips on line, joining a laughter workshop, the list is endless. Or if all else fails you could just fake it. Just smile and start to laugh – as with listening to a song and how it change your mood, so can laughter. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can also help. This combination can help you to look at the world with a different perspective, to see the funny side in life. It is too easy to allow life to feel like a weight on our shoulders, but you can learn the tools to see life in a different way. To allow yourself the freedom to let go and just laugh and enjoy the world for what it is.

Try it now - smile, laugh or giggle and feel better about your day.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Happy Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is Valentine ’s Day and whilst for a lot of people it is a day to stop and tell their loved ones just how much they mean to them for many of us it can also be a time of sadness; a reminder that we don’t have that special someone in our lives.

Valentine’s Day, whilst it has its place, is a man-made holiday. We don’t need this one day to tell our loved ones how special they are, it should be part of our day or week to stop and tell them just how wonderful they are. Rather than seeing it as only a day for people to stop and shower their loved ones with gifts it can be the day that you just stop and say thank you for your life. Maybe you don’t have that special someone to go out for dinner with but I am sure that you have a lot of wonderful things in your life. Take this moment to stop and appreciate the wonderful world that you have created.

It is far too easy to focus on the small percentage of our lives that isn’t right. But it is far more beneficial and rewarding if you can learn to focus on the larger percentage that is right and see the remainder that isn’t quite there yet as an exciting challenge. We need these challenges in life to help us grow. Admittedly sometimes they can feel like they are all coming at once or that life “has it in for us”, but if you work with the positive and focus on the positive you will be surprised at just how much lighter life can feel.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn the techniques to focus on the positive, to turn around the negative cogs and realise that we can put the energy where we want to and if we put it toward working with the positive we will feel so much happier even though nothing may have physically changed.

Whether you are sitting at a candle-lit dinner tomorrow or just enjoying your own company, have a wonderful day, stop and take in the world that you have created. Smile and allow the happiness of love for yourself and your life to flow.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information. 

New Job, New You

It is that time of year when many of us get restless and we start to look around for our next job. Just as important as ensuring you have edited and polished your CV before applying for the job you’re after, is making sure you are full of confidence and energy and ready to sell yourself to prospective employers.

Many of us have mixed emotions when it comes to the idea of starting a new job. Even if it is something that we have been dreaming of or a career stepping stone that we know is the right one, it is perfectly natural to feel nervous or anxious about the process of applying for a job and being interviewed. We feel the excitement as we begin to imagine what it would be like to be in our new role, but we also feel fear as we begin to think about the possibility of rejection. We begin to consider whether or not we have what it takes to be successful. The fear of failure begins to creep in and we worry about not succeeding, so our confidence can get knocked before we have even started.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to overcome any anxieties you have. It can help you with public speaking fears, confidence and anything else you feel you need to build on. You can learn how to walk into the interview room feeling calm and confident, ready to “sell” yourself to the company without being overly confident or arrogant. We all need to build on our skills, even if we are good at our current job, we need to learn how to adapt to a new company.

During a session of Hypnotherapy with CBT & NLP we can look at dealing with the weight of expectation you may be carrying and help you to challenge any negative beliefs, building on your strengths and understanding your weaknesses. We will then aim to turn any weaknesses into positives, putting you in a place to grow and develop from.

Even if the job you are going for is an internal promotion, you may still need help to combat old beliefs. We tend to feel that we need to know everything; to admit we have weaknesses can be seen as a negative but that’s not always the case. Often it is actually the opposite – the greatest things can be achieved if we let go of the fear of failure and accept that with a bit of help we can continue to grow.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.