Negative self-talk: how it affects us

What is self-talk? Self-talk is the internal dialog we all have ongoing through our minds every day. This internal dialog can take two forms, positive and negative.

Are you a positive thinker or a negative thinker? Do you tell yourself: Yes I can do this. I can reach my goal. Or do you tell yourself: I will never get that job so there is no point going for the interview. I am fat. I am stupid.

We all have moments of self-doubt where we question whether we can achieve something, but the difference between a constant negative thought pattern and a positive one is the difference between a person who never feels good enough and a person who feels content with life, happily challenged.

We all know those people who seem to have it all. They are always so happy. But when you stop and look at their life next to yours they have nothing more than you - sometimes they even have less than you. The difference is their internal dialog is set to positive; they look for the positive and they appreciate the things they have got.

Negative self-talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to stagnation, self-pity, depression and many more negative influences. When we repeat a negative statement over and over again we begin to believe it. “I am not good enough” may prevent us from taking the steps to achieve a promotion that we are easily qualified for. It gives us a lack of confidence that isn’t based on anything real, but reinforced by the internal negative dialog. Eventually these thoughts become all consuming and you find that you approach every aspect of your life with this negativity, beginning to feel stressed easily, depressed and having a lack of confidence and motivation.

Changing the internal dialog to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. If instead of saying “I am not good enough”, say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity no one can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own though process.

Very often the nature of our self-talk originates from a very early age. It may be a teacher that said you weren’t good enough, or a parent that always made you believe anything is possible.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to challenge the source of the negative thoughts and change them to positive ones. Eventually you will surround yourself with positive thoughts and that will create an environment that will allow you to live your best possible life.

Here a few easy steps to start to become positive:

· Smile more.

· Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first. Start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head and turn it into a positive one. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking in the positive first.

· Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.

· Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.

We all have the ability to retrain our minds, we do it every day. Give it a go. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What could you gain? Everything.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   
 

© EKTherapies

Does the Past Form Our future

Does the past form our future? Just because we are used to acting a certain way or something happened to us in the past, does that mean that that is how we are going to be for the rest of our lives?

The past does form who we are, it helps us to learn and to get a better understanding of what we do or don’t want out of life, but it doesn’t have to control our future.

In my work I work in a positive direction, looking at where you want to get to, how you want to feel and what you would like to achieve. Although we may look into what contributed to you feeling the way you do, to me it is more important to focus on what you DO want rather than what you DON'T want. We can expect that the past is always part of us but we can choose whether or not to allow it to rule our future. It sounds so simple but we can choose whether to give a thought energy and momentum, be it a positive one or a negative one. We are the ones in control of our own minds - this in itself can be one of the most powerful thoughts. Look how powerful it can be if we start on a negative spiral for example. We can imagine things so vividly even though the chance of them happening is less than .001%, but we still feel the physical and physiological responses as if it had already happened. Or there are the psychosomatic cases when you tell your brain you are ill and it starts to give you the symptoms as if you really were.

It is also important to accept that even when you work with the positive, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have the odd "down" day - life is after all a wonderful rollercoaster - and we need the “down” days to appreciate the good ones, but the “down” days should be few and far between.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to realise any emotions/blockages from the past, and maybe not forgive, but overcome the power of the past so that you can focus on how you want to be.

There is no doubt that there are some things that may have happened in the past that form you and are hard to let go of, but if we accept that they are there, then we can either let them rule us or we can learn from them and allow ourselves the space to continue to grow.

In both my professional life and my personal life, I find great strength from my grandmother who was an Auschwitz survivor ( German Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp 1940–1945, her story is told in her book, From Thessaloniki to Auschwitz and Back ). Undoubtedly Auschwitz left her with her demons, haunting her throughout her life, but nevertheless she was the most positive person I have ever met; she found the strength within herself to forgive what had happened and used that strength to create the most amazing life. Her positive energy is always with me when I work, helping me to stay strong and be the best therapist I can be.

There are countless examples of people who have changed their destiny, let go of the past and focussed on what they do want rather than what they can’t change.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are amazing tools in helping you understand what drives you, helping you to become a more positive person. So many of my clients turn their lives around even though nothing has physically changed; they still have the same car, job, house etc, but simply their perspective has changed. Rather than allowing themselves to focus on the few tiny things in life that aren’t quite right they start to focus on all the things that are right, giving them the strength to challenge themselves and take on tasks they never thought possible.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

© EKTherapies

Does Hypnotherapy Really Work?

When I tell people I’m a hypnotherapist, they often ask “does hypnotherapy actually work ?”

For years within science, there were debates as to whether hypnosis existed or worked and sceptics often claimed that people in hypnosis were play-acting. But that has now all changed. In February 2002 the first conclusive scientific proof that hypnosis produces clear changes in the mind was presented by Professor David Spiegel of Stanford University School of Medicine in California at the America Association for the Advancement of Science conference.

Eight subjects were hypnotised and monitored using special scanning techniques called PET (Positron Emission Tomography) which measures blood flow to the brain.

Professor Spiegel said: “When people believe there is colour in the picture, their brains process the colour even if it isn’t there. They are not just telling you what you want to hear; the way their brains respond to the information is actually being changed. Under hypnosis, believing is seeing.”

Spiegel’s findings demonstrate that hypnosis has biological as well as psychological effects, disproving the cynics and supporting the application of hypnosis in a medical setting.

Spiegel said: “There has been a whole school of argument that hypnosis is nothing more than an exaggerated form of social compliance. This is evidence that they are not just telling you what they think you want to hear. They are actually perceiving things differently.”

For many of us, having scientific proof will help us to believe in hypnotherapy but there will be people who ask: “Is it all just a placebo?” With any therapy or drug there is always a placebo element to it – you believe that by taking this pill or receiving that therapy you will get better. By telling this to your mind it begins to happen. Hypnotherapy in that aspect is no different from any other treatment but it is also highly effective at changing the patterns we get into so that we can look at things in a new way and achieve our goals. Even the NHS has now recognised the benefits of hypnotherapy.

Look at other aspects in life where we are driven by our subconscious and the messages around us, such as in the media where the subliminal messages we pick up around us can influence our choices.

Marketers use branding to tap into our subconscious – take McDonalds for example. Their colours are red and yellow/golden, that’s because, according to the colour theory, these colours are known to subconsciously trigger hunger and/or induce excitement. These colours encourage guests to spend more and leave quickly, which is exactly what fast food restaurants want you to do. McDondalds has now started making the stores green, which is a colour we associate with health and the environment. As the world is becoming more conscious about the effects that certain foods have on our health and the damage we are doing to the planet, McDonalds is moving with the times making their fast food restaurants remain appealing.

Personally I have experienced many clients changing the way they look at a situation, their perception and becoming much happier people. I find my work so rewarding, seeing someone transform from the very first session full of anxiety to now enjoying life far more.

It is time to start working with your mind, take the first steps today to achieving your goals.

Click here to see what kind of things can be treated using Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP.


By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.     

© EKTherapies

How does Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP work together

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are powerful therapies in themselves but used together they give you the chance to look at your challenge from lots of different angles, giving you the best chance to have the tools you need to become the person you want to be.

To understand how these therapies can work together, I think it is good to have a general understanding of them as individual therapies first. There are many descriptions for what Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP are and some of them are very technical in depth. Rather than setting out a long technical explanation I am going to explain them in nice easy terms.

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy is a way of quieting the conscious mind so that you can talk to the subconscious mind. Sometimes even though consciously we want to do something if we don’t have the subconscious mind thinking the same thing then the outcome will always be the same even though consciously we want something different. By talking to someone’s subconscious you can help the internal thought process to be working towards what they want and not still on the old auto pilot. Allowing our subconscious to take over (on autopilot) is something that we do on a daily basis, like when you "zone out" for a while. There are lots of different ways to get a person into trance (a relaxed state of mind where you can speak to the subconscious), it depends on individual characters and expectations, but rest assured almost everyone can be put into a trance.

What is NLP?

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the fundamental dynamics between your mind, language (internal and external) and how the programing of them affects our body and behaviour.

Neuro – the neurological system regulates how our bodies function

Linguistic – language, the words we choose to use to communicate with others and ourselves

Programming – the models/links of the world we create (learned behaviour)

Once you understand the mental programming then you can use the power of words and imagery to help someone change their neurological path and therefore produce different behaviour.

What is CBT?

CBT (Cognitive behavioural Therapy) focuses on the ‘here and now’ to help you feel better. Through talking you challenge negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Instead of focussing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past, it looks for ways to improve your state of mind now.
With all of these therapies the client remains in control with the therapist helping the client to make the change they are looking to make. You will leave the session with the tools to continue the work started in the sessions and develop into the person you want to be.

Hopefully you now have an outline about these three therapies. As I said they work very well by themselves and often I end up using only one with a client as that is what they respond to best. The great thing about being able to use all three is that I can give my clients the best chance to achieve their goals because if one therapy doesn’t work so well for them then I can use another.

I tend to use a combination of all three therapies, using CBT to ask clients questions that challenge them to see a different way, NLP to help integrate the mind with their new thought pattern and Hypnotherapy to tie the three together and help make sure the subconscious is working in the same direction and not still on the old track.

To find out what kind of things can be treated with this powerful combination click here.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   

© EKTherapies

Happy Jubilee Weekend

Happy Jubilee weekend! Whatever you did over the weekend I hope you found time to enjoy the Jubilee celebrations. The Royals have a way of dividing opinions, but personally I love to see the pomp and ceremony that Britain does so well. I love watching the UK sparkle, and feeling people coming together with big smiles on their faces, as we enjoy a long weekend full of celebrations.

I know that not everyone had these four days off, so if you’re one of the ones working I hope that the Jubilee spirit is still with you, helping you to have enjoyable work days.

Queen Elizabeth has been 60 years our Queen. She is the second longest reigning monarch; Queen Victoria reigned for 64 years. Queen Elizabeth has shown many strengths and has been a wonderful role model for the country. I admire how the Queen has put her job, the role of being Queen, first and has never shown the strain it must put on her and her family at times. She carries herself with such decorum and positivity, never moaning; she is a true British symbol. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are steadily learning the role from her and I hope will keep up the Queens’s positive energy and tireless commitment to her country.

I feel very proud to be British. With the Olympics around the corner it is wonderful to see England celebrating through these tough times of recession. It can be so easy to just look at our struggles but we have a chance to show the world that we can be united together.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

© EKTherapies

Stop and Say Thank You!

Happy May Bank Holiday. We are already in the 5th month of 2012; as with every year 2012 is flying by at a healthy pace. This year has had so much focus on it with the Olympics, which is now fast approaching.

It can feel like we are on a constant treadmill - the days, weeks and months pass us by.

Whatever you are doing today take a moment to stop and say thank you. Look at the world around you. You could take a moment to sit on a park bench and breathe in the spring smells in the air. Take a few moments to stop and look at the life that you have created for yourself. Even if you are in the middle of creating a new path for yourself and you feel that it is all an uphill struggle, look at how far you have come. Even if you have only just started your journey realise what an achievement it is to have started it at all. Be grateful for what you have achieved, take it all in, the good bits and the harder bits.

If you really feel that you have nothing to say thank you for, then see if maybe you need to change the life you lead. Find your drive.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to focus on the positive and enjoy this life for all its wonderful twist and turns. It is so easy to be focused on the negative - to focus on what we don’t have, what we are still striving for - and whilst it is brilliant to have goals and improve ourselves, it is also as important to stop and appreciate the journey along the way. See how far you have come and say thank you for the world that you are in now.

It is so easy to take for granted what we have now, sometimes only if the carpet is whipped form underneath us do we realise just what we had.

So take a moment today to stop and say thank you. I am sure you will be amazed at what you see.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.

© EKTherapies 

Live Life!

The Guardian published a fascinating article in February about the top five regrets of the dying, written from the findings from a palliative nurse. I found it an interesting read, thought-provoking and well worth sharing.

“ Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed, deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. How many times have you thought: “I wish someone had told me that before?" So often people do advise or warn us but we carry on regardless. It is important that we learn from our own mistakes but we can also learn from the wisdom of others – if so many people realise retrospectively that they should have changed their perspective on what is important in life, maybe we should listen more. "

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to change your perspective on life and see where you need to focus your energy. It can help you to realise your goals, release any anxiety, fears or old expectations, allowing you to be the person you want to be. This gives you time to focus on the wonderful life you have created, with all its wonderful twists and turns.

 By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Could Laughter be the Key to Happiness?

Laughter is infectious; we all know the amazing feeling of losing yourself in the energy of laughter. But could laughter be the key to happiness? People have started to harness this and create laughter workshops, where you go to laugh, even if it starts out as a forced laugh, the endorphins and benefits still affect your body and mood.

Research has shown the health benefits of laughter are far-reaching, studies have shown that laughter can help pain relief through the releasing of endorphins, increase the immune system, decrease stress, change the “negative” chemicals in the mind, ease conflict, lighten burdens, inspire hope, connect you to others and generally just make you feel better, more energetic and happier, bringing your body and mind back into balance.

“Your sense of humour is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

This may all seem a bit far-fetched, can laughing really help you to feel better ? We know the benefits of exercise and how that helps us to reduce stress hormones. It helps our bodies to feel more energetic, it clears our minds and allows us to have clear focus again. So can laughter do the same thing? If we build laughter into our day just as we do with exercise we can increase our happiness. Laughter is an incredibly strong medicine for mind and body – it is free, convenient and beneficial in so many ways.

So how do you get more laughter in your life?

We can find laughter in so many ways, maybe for you it is laughing at films or the TV, laughing with friends, comedy clubs, funny clips on line, joining a laughter workshop, the list is endless. Or if all else fails you could just fake it. Just smile and start to laugh – as with listening to a song and how it change your mood, so can laughter. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can also help. This combination can help you to look at the world with a different perspective, to see the funny side in life. It is too easy to allow life to feel like a weight on our shoulders, but you can learn the tools to see life in a different way. To allow yourself the freedom to let go and just laugh and enjoy the world for what it is.

Try it now - smile, laugh or giggle and feel better about your day.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

Happy Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is Valentine ’s Day and whilst for a lot of people it is a day to stop and tell their loved ones just how much they mean to them for many of us it can also be a time of sadness; a reminder that we don’t have that special someone in our lives.

Valentine’s Day, whilst it has its place, is a man-made holiday. We don’t need this one day to tell our loved ones how special they are, it should be part of our day or week to stop and tell them just how wonderful they are. Rather than seeing it as only a day for people to stop and shower their loved ones with gifts it can be the day that you just stop and say thank you for your life. Maybe you don’t have that special someone to go out for dinner with but I am sure that you have a lot of wonderful things in your life. Take this moment to stop and appreciate the wonderful world that you have created.

It is far too easy to focus on the small percentage of our lives that isn’t right. But it is far more beneficial and rewarding if you can learn to focus on the larger percentage that is right and see the remainder that isn’t quite there yet as an exciting challenge. We need these challenges in life to help us grow. Admittedly sometimes they can feel like they are all coming at once or that life “has it in for us”, but if you work with the positive and focus on the positive you will be surprised at just how much lighter life can feel.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn the techniques to focus on the positive, to turn around the negative cogs and realise that we can put the energy where we want to and if we put it toward working with the positive we will feel so much happier even though nothing may have physically changed.

Whether you are sitting at a candle-lit dinner tomorrow or just enjoying your own company, have a wonderful day, stop and take in the world that you have created. Smile and allow the happiness of love for yourself and your life to flow.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information. 

New Job, New You

It is that time of year when many of us get restless and we start to look around for our next job. Just as important as ensuring you have edited and polished your CV before applying for the job you’re after, is making sure you are full of confidence and energy and ready to sell yourself to prospective employers.

Many of us have mixed emotions when it comes to the idea of starting a new job. Even if it is something that we have been dreaming of or a career stepping stone that we know is the right one, it is perfectly natural to feel nervous or anxious about the process of applying for a job and being interviewed. We feel the excitement as we begin to imagine what it would be like to be in our new role, but we also feel fear as we begin to think about the possibility of rejection. We begin to consider whether or not we have what it takes to be successful. The fear of failure begins to creep in and we worry about not succeeding, so our confidence can get knocked before we have even started.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to overcome any anxieties you have. It can help you with public speaking fears, confidence and anything else you feel you need to build on. You can learn how to walk into the interview room feeling calm and confident, ready to “sell” yourself to the company without being overly confident or arrogant. We all need to build on our skills, even if we are good at our current job, we need to learn how to adapt to a new company.

During a session of Hypnotherapy with CBT & NLP we can look at dealing with the weight of expectation you may be carrying and help you to challenge any negative beliefs, building on your strengths and understanding your weaknesses. We will then aim to turn any weaknesses into positives, putting you in a place to grow and develop from.

Even if the job you are going for is an internal promotion, you may still need help to combat old beliefs. We tend to feel that we need to know everything; to admit we have weaknesses can be seen as a negative but that’s not always the case. Often it is actually the opposite – the greatest things can be achieved if we let go of the fear of failure and accept that with a bit of help we can continue to grow.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.