Negative self-talk: how it affects us

What is self-talk? Self-talk is the internal dialog we all have ongoing through our minds every day. This internal dialog can take two forms, positive and negative.

Are you a positive thinker or a negative thinker? Do you tell yourself: Yes I can do this. I can reach my goal. Or do you tell yourself: I will never get that job so there is no point going for the interview. I am fat. I am stupid.

We all have moments of self-doubt where we question whether we can achieve something, but the difference between a constant negative thought pattern and a positive one is the difference between a person who never feels good enough and a person who feels content with life, happily challenged.

We all know those people who seem to have it all. They are always so happy. But when you stop and look at their life next to yours they have nothing more than you - sometimes they even have less than you. The difference is their internal dialog is set to positive; they look for the positive and they appreciate the things they have got.

Negative self-talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to stagnation, self-pity, depression and many more negative influences. When we repeat a negative statement over and over again we begin to believe it. “I am not good enough” may prevent us from taking the steps to achieve a promotion that we are easily qualified for. It gives us a lack of confidence that isn’t based on anything real, but reinforced by the internal negative dialog. Eventually these thoughts become all consuming and you find that you approach every aspect of your life with this negativity, beginning to feel stressed easily, depressed and having a lack of confidence and motivation.

Changing the internal dialog to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. If instead of saying “I am not good enough”, say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity no one can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own though process.

Very often the nature of our self-talk originates from a very early age. It may be a teacher that said you weren’t good enough, or a parent that always made you believe anything is possible.

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to challenge the source of the negative thoughts and change them to positive ones. Eventually you will surround yourself with positive thoughts and that will create an environment that will allow you to live your best possible life.

Here a few easy steps to start to become positive:

· Smile more.

· Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first. Start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head and turn it into a positive one. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking in the positive first.

· Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.

· Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.

We all have the ability to retrain our minds, we do it every day. Give it a go. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What could you gain? Everything.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.   
 

© EKTherapies

Can we Change our Perspective?

Can we change the way we look at things? Does it really make that big a difference? How come you can feel really low and then a good song comes on the radio and by the end of it you feel all uplifted with a spring in your step? Does what we say to ourselves really affect us that much?

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.” Henry Ford

It can be hard to keep a sense of perspective in our lives. We are constantly bombarded with seemingly urgent things, like phone calls, texts, instant messages, emails, tweets etc. It can feel that we live each day in a constant rush against time with an endless list of things to do. We tend to focus on the negative, what we have to do, what we haven’t achieved, rather than focusing on the good in our life. Changing your perspective can be incredibly refreshing, it can help you see the good in life and calmly tackle any challenges that come your way.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

It sounds almost too easy to be true but if we work with The power of The mind we really can change how we think and consequently how we feel. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to learn the tools to let go of the past or those niggling thoughts and enjoy life. Here are a few simple ways to change your perspective; give one a try today and see how you can feel calmer and more positive.

• Open your eyes and see the world around you. It can be all too easy to focus inwards, and whilst it is good to look at yourself it is also important to notice the world around you.
• Ask “Will it matter in five years?” Almost always the answer is that it won’t matter in a week let alone five years. Some moments are life changing but most of what we worry about, with hindsight or clear thinking, is really not worth any stress.
• Write down how you are feeling. By putting pen to paper you help to clear your mind of all your thoughts and you can start seeing the situation more clearly, understanding where you need to focus your energy in order to change it.
• Stop and take stock. It is good to strive for goals but it is also just as important to stop and breathe, to enjoy what you have created. When you go home tonight, look around you and smile, say thank you for what you do have in your life.
• Go for a walk / break state. When you are feeling like everything is getting on top of you or your mind is wearing away, try going for a walk, break the state, change what you are doing. Walking helps you to de-stress and gives you a chance to clear your head and gain a clearer perspective.
• Be in the moment. Whatever it is you are doing, whether it is housework or sending an email or even walking in the park, be in the moment. Enjoy that moment for what it is. Absorb the world you are in, look around and take it all in for this moment.
• Ask “why” and keep asking. Next time you are struggling to get a perspective on something ask why you are doing it. Challenge your inner self for the answer. It may be that you are pushing for something that you don’t really want.
• Have “downtime”. Think about how much time you really give yourself in a day to de-stress. Even if you find just ten minutes in the day give these to yourself to sit and breathe, maybe go for a walk whilst being in the moment, or read a book. Allow yourself this down time.

These are just a few simple suggestions, there are so many more ways that you can change your perspective and how you feel about the life you are living. Even though nothing has changed in your life, if you change your perspective then it can feel like you are living a new happy life.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.        

© EKTherapies

Are We Scared to Fail?

Are we scared to fail? Do we stop ourselves from trying something just in case we fail? Do we project failure, seeing ourselves fail at something before we have even tried it?

No matter how hard you work for success, if your thought is saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralize your endeavors and make success impossible. Baudjuin

The more I work with different clients the more I see a growing pattern of fear. Society is teaching us from a young age that to fail is wrong. Our school days carry the fear of the big F being put on our papers for all to see, F for FAILURE. But is failure a necessary step for learning to occur? Are we stopping ourselves from achieving things due to the small chance that we may fail? If we never fail at something does it mean that we never learnt anything from it?

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. Henry Ford

Some of the biggest discoveries were born from mistakes/failure. One of the most famous ones in medicine is the discovery of penicillin. In 1928, bacteriologist Alexander Fleming made a chance discovery from a discarded, contaminated Petri dish. The mould that had contaminated the experiment turned out to contain a powerful antibiotic, penicillin.

Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement. Henry Ford

One of the biggest lessons we can learn in life is it is ok to fail at something, to let go of the fear of failure. You may not learn the lesson the first time or even the second and third time, but each time we fail at something we learn something. We learn a different way to succeed, maybe even discover a new path altogether. Everything we learn we can use later in life for the next task we tackle.

No-one starts off by being the best at something, all the greats did it through hard work and being brave enough to try something and fail. Even ourselves; we came into this world being able to do nothing for ourselves. Slowly we learnt how to walk and talk and eventually we became fully independent people. If we had the same fear of trying new things as a baby that we do as adults we would still be in nappies.

So many of the great names today could have given up at the many hurdles they faced but instead they kept trying and failing until the found the right way.

Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. He later wrote, "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never, Never, Never,Never give up."

Sigmund Freud was booed from the podium when he first presented his ideas to the scientific community of Europe. He returned to his office and kept on writing.

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was"sub-normal," and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams." He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.
Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.

Michael Jordan and Bob Cousy were each cut from their high school basketball teams. Jordan once observed,"I've failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed."

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.

The Beatles. Decca Records turned down a recording contract with the Beatles with the unprophetic evaluation, "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on their way out." After Decca rejected the Beatles, Columbia records followed suit.

Elvis Presley. In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after one performance. He told Presley, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back todrivin' a truck."

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. Henry Ford

Let go of the fear of failure and trust in your abilities. Calculate the risk sand make wise decisions, but take the plunge. Whilst we may end up on adifferent road than we expected, if we never try then we will never succeed. Yes we may need to “fail” once or twice to discover the right path but far better to try, and fail, than spend your whole life wondering "what if."

To find out how hypnotherapy, CBT& NLP can help you to let go of your fears and achieve your goals please give Erika a call for a no obligation chat.

By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.  

How to work with the Power of the Mind

Our thoughts, what we say and what we hear all have a powerful effect on our everyday experiences and beliefs.

Henry Ford said it perfectly:

Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.

Changing our internal dialogue to positive statements makes our life better and assists us in moving forward, giving us the confidence to achieve our goals. Instead of thinking “I am not good enough”, think “I can do this”; or instead of saying “I will never be able to do that so why try”, say “I know that if I trust in myself and prepare properly I can achieve anything”. Not only will you achieve your goals but you will feel happier and healthier. Positive self-talk gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner, one that carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you to move forward. Once you have this positivity nobody can take it away from you, as it comes from within you, from your own thought processes.

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be hard at first but start by talking positively. When you have a negative thought, or catch yourself about to say something negative, stop yourself and see if you can spin it on its head by turning it into a positive one. Challenge that negative thought and question whether you are right to think that way. Soon this will become second nature and you will find yourself thinking more positively from the outset.

Begin working with these simple tools in mind:

• Expect positive results. When you set a goal expect that not only will you achieve it but you will be better than you thought.
• Actually visualize the success you want. Picture it in your mind, picture what you DO want, rather than having a list of what you DON’T want. Have an image of what you DO want, and see yourself achieving your goal.
• Surround yourself with people who have the same positive view as you. When you are with a negative person then allow their views to wash over you and focus on why you want to achieve your goal. 

Think of it like:

Suggestions/Words/Thoughts

+

Feelings

+

Beliefs

+

Behaviour

=

Success or Failure

These are just a few simple steps you can begin to work with to understand the power of your mind and to start working with it rather than against it. To understand more and learn more techniques come for a Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP session and see how you can achieve your goals in a positive and focused way.


By Erika Keat

Erika offers Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP at Waterloo Body Station on Mondays between 2.30pm - 7pm, please contact Erika for more information.